Image: Margaret Anne Clarke via Flickr

dinner on the deck –
everything tastes
like honeysuckle

(cross-posted at Spring Haiku 2009)

Running

Mr. D has been preparing for the very cool Princeton Kids' Marathon. I am keeping him company on his training runs. Which means that I suddenly know several 1 mile running routes through our neighborhood. The journey of parenting certainly has some interesting twists and turns.

(I'm sure my sister is laughing,
and I would be too, if I had any breath left!)

In the Woods

We're heading up to Blairstown to put the peace back in Mother's Day. Think sunny thoughts.

Kinetic Sculpture Race 2009

Kinetic Sculptures are amphibious, human powered works of art
custom-built for the race. Each May, the American Visionary Art Museum (AVAM) hosts the East Coast Kinetic Sculpture Race Championship
on the shore of Baltimore’s Inner Harbor in central Maryland.
The eight-hour race covers 15 miles—mostly on pavement,
but also including a trip into the Chesapeake Bay and through mud and sand.

Because the fabulous Feldinis live in Howard County, MD,
we've made this a two-family adventure several times in the past few years.

What I love about the Kinetic Sculpture Race is its vibe.
Everyone is there to have a good time
and celebrate the joys of creative creation.

This year our creativity extended to choice of viewing spot,

as Mr. D climbed up into a tree...

... to be followed by his lovely cousins, of course.

One of these years, we'll be participants,
but until then, we relish the chances we have
to be enthusiastic spectators.

(If you'd like to see some more of the
Kinetic Sculpture Race craziness,
my Flickr set is here.)

What Would I Say

Image: Marlith, via Flickr

My friend Jenn (who is going to start blogging SOON, I hope) has been asked to speak at a gay-themed event this weekend, and asked me what I would say if asked to speak on the topic of gay parenting and/or marriage.

Of course my first thought was of our son. Mr. D has been Star of the Week at his school this week, an honor that rotates through the entire class, one student at a time. Mr. D was the final episode. As part of his star turn, he filled out a poster about himself ("I am super because I am funny, energetic, and funny") which he shared with the class in anticipation of their comments and questions. In the "who lives in my house" section of his presentation, Mr. D's two-mom status went virtually unremarked; it was his pet puppet dog "Mr. Flappybobs" who got most of the attention.

But just before bed the other night, he shared with my partner that kids occasionally think of her as some kind of "substitute." (His word, and theirs.) Telling his Tama this story, our boy was simultaneously annoyed and dismissive: "Of course you're not a substitute! You're just... a parent!"

He gets it. Most of his friends get it, too. As the white lesbian mom of a first-grader, I feel sometimes like I'm in a giant game of "Beat the Clock."

Can we teach our boy enough about the primacy of love before someone plays the, "Your moms aren't even married!" card? Can we teach our boy enough about the long shadow of discrimination before he has his first recognized encounter with racism? Has he already fully internalized the fundamental truth that girls can do anything?

~ ~ ~

If you are an American citizen, here's my question for you: When in your life have you felt fully American?

I remember the first time I felt that way. I was watching the US hockey team compete in the 1980 Olympics. Their improbable win pulled me in, and I felt part of something larger than myself. The next time was in 1987, at the second national March on Washington in support of gay rights. I held hands with my then-girlfriend in full view of the White House, and something shifted in me. I began to dream of a different world. In 2003, when the Supreme Court overturned Bowers v. Hardwick with its Lawrence v. Texas decision, there was a news story about businesses in San Francisco's Castro district flying the US flag for the first time, after having previously flown only the rainbow flag. One of my African-American friends waived an American flag for the first time when Barack Obama became the Democratic nominee.

It is hard to count the cost of exclusion. I can't tell you what the economic impact or wider social implications of legalizing gay marriage would be. (Although I'm sure people are studying just that.)

I can tell you that my partner, our son, and I are a family. That neither my partner nor I are a "substitute" in our son's life. And that something changes when we feel acknowledged for who we are. We pay first class taxes. We'd like to feel like first-class citizens.

Whatever the cost of disenfranchisement, it is too high. And I guess that's what I'd say.

Image: Elaron via Flickr

Forever Family Day #8

Today was the anniversary of Tama's successful adoption of our Mr. D. We have wanted to celebrate our membership in the world of families that have been strengthened through adoption, despite the fact that we would probably have preferred not to have been forced to go through the process.

We spend Forever Family together, with no big plan beforehand. This year's celebration included hours of deep immersion in all things Lego:


But the day was too beautiful to NOT head outside, so we took ourselves into the Herrontown Woods:

Where Mr. D practiced his balancing...

... and Tama and Mr. D re-invented the see-saw.

This year, for the first time, I was a little nervous about our "no plan" plan for Forever Family Day. Would Mr. D experience the day as being truly special? Terri reassured me: all he really cares about is that we spend the day together. As usual, she was right.

(PS: The last two years' worth of Forever Family Days
looked like this and this.)

PPS: Easter was last week.
I'm a little behind.
These eggs are all gone now!)

Triathlete

75 yard swim? No worries.

Ride my bike for a quarter of a mile? Here I go!

Run for a third of a mile? Check out my stride!

1st triathalon. 2nd place in the 6-8 age group.

(He'll be back.)

Continuing Revelation

This black-trunked giant was holding on so tightly to winter...

... while at the same moment something was stirring
in the heart of this crocus.

This is what I love about spring.
All around me, the reminders:
Let go. Welcome warmth.

(Tip o' the hat to friend KD;
yes, that's "your" tree.)

Stealth Performance

About four minutes of joy-inspiring performance. Enjoy.