February 02, 2007

Sunday Scribblings - Goodbye

He doesn't want me to go. And I don't want to go, either. And yet we do this, every weekday, as we head off to our separate schools. Most mornings his sadness is masked by his excitement to see his friends and teachers at school. But some days, the goodbye is really hard.

For the first three years of his life, there were few of these; the idea of leaving him in someon
e else's care was so hard that I quit my waged work to stay home.


But then the money ran out, and I started to long for a life in which I was contributing to a broader enterprise than the well-being of my own family. He began to show signs of being able to stand up for himself and ask for what he wanted and needed. And I found a really great job.
We have a tradition now that started one day when I said, "Hey, did I tell you yet today that I love you? "No," he said with a smile, "but you do." Now we go through that call-and-response almost every day. "Oh my gosh! Did I tell you yet today that I love you?!" "No, but you do." It means I get to tell him I love him many many times, all the while pretending that I'm not sure I have yet. It means that if I do forget to say it, he knows that it's true anyway. It means that I know that he knows. And it means that the goodbye is forgiven.

Gotta go scoop up my boy now.

(Hello!)

(Thanks to the women of Sunday Scribblings
for their continuing inspiration.)

18 comments:

megnificent! said...

I have two boys that I can hardly "scoop up" anymore. But I can give them money for a movie with their friends or fill the gas tank up with gas!
I ask how their day was and I tell them about mine. I am grateful for a goodnight hug or kiss on the forehead.
I am blessed among women.

hundred and one said...

This post just tugs at the corners of my mouth making me smile. My daughter starts school in September - oooh, I dunno how I'm going to cope...

shula said...

I have a similar deal with my girl.

We tag onto the end of random sentences, 'and I love you'.

To which the other MUST respond 'and I love you too'

It's love by non sequiter.

Cate said...

I love this post! Love it! You had me with the picture and that first paragraph--what a beautiful relationship you and your boy share!

Regina Clare Jane said...

I love the two pictures! I'd say you're doing a wonderful job with your little fella!

Liza Lee Miller said...

Oh boy. Yes, goodbye to your children is tough. Motherhood has a lot of guilt in it along with all the joy!

Liza's Eyeview said...

Love this post on goodbye. Thanks!

Speedy Chick said...

Beautiful post. Thankyou for sharing:)

gautami tripathy said...

Saying goodbye to a child is tough. Being a mom is tough but it is all worth it!

GreenishLady said...

This was just so heart-warming and lovely, love-filled, loving. It brightens my day. My boy (21 this year) still hangs a random "love ya" on the end of phone calls or text messages. He'll even call back sometimes after hanging up just to say it. Love that!

Stacy said...

Nicely said.

Kamsin said...

Lovely post and a gorgeous boy!

AnnieElf said...

So heartwaraming. The daily good-byes of childhood and the sugar coated hello kisses. Sweet

G said...

This is wonderful, Shelley! Love the pictures, too -- what a handsome little guy.

Paris Parfait said...

Such a sweet post - and a sweet boy! He's adorable, with a winning smile.

Mardougrrl said...

This brought tears to my eyes, as the time moves nearer...soon, I'll have to go back to outside work and say goodbye to my Madam everyday.

Beautiful picture! You and your boy are very lucky. :)

Frances said...

And what a gorgeous boy he is!
Telling them that you love 'em every day makes all the difference.
Neither my husband or I had that, so we made we gave it to our daughter.
Many happy hugs to you both

Janie Hickok Siess, Esq. said...

Oh, he's precious. I can't scoop mine up any more, but I still smother them with kisses if I can get close enough. I remember those mornings at daycare. I don't know who cried more -- me or them. But we all survived to tell the tale!