Here's the short version, courtesy of Beth Quinn:
Be left alone and not get the crap beaten out of us.
Do normal things, like get married and raise kids.
Hold down a good job and have health insurance for the whole family.
Grow old together and develop a bit of a paunch or big butt from a few too many marvelous dinners.
Stop having whom we share our bed with be of any interest whatsoever to anyone.
Urge those lovable homophobic pseudo-Christians to discover Jesus' true message.