These shoes said they'd never give me blisters.
My backpack swears there's a working pen in here somewhere.
This paper plate claims to be made from 100% recycled paper.
The phone's blinking light refers to a message that requires no action on my part.
The carpet promises to hide any stain.
The missing shirt button is plotting a prodigal return.
And the calendar proclaims the glory that is Friday.
(For more lies, check out Poetry Thursday.)