January 02, 2009

For Richer or Poorer

"For richer or poorer" is a phrase taken straight out of the standard marriage vows. It's a phrase I've never uttered, at least not in a ceremonial context.

My partner and I are not married, as we are not currently afforded that opportunity under US federal law. Since Proposition 8's passage in November, many gay and lesbian couples in the US are feeling like the "poorer" part of that equation has come to pass.

A friend this morning told me that she'd written a letter to the editor about President-Elect Obama's selection of evangelical preacher (and Proposition 8 supporter) Rick Warren to give the invocation at Obama's inauguration.

The pragmatist in me likes what Heather Gold has to say on the subject. Although I was also grateful to read my friend Melissa Harris-Lacewell's Not In My Name post.

But I haven't spent enough time thinking about it to develop a nuanced opinion of my own. I've been living without the benefit of societal sanction for so long that my status a second-class citizen has stopped feeling like something that requires emergency attention. Sad but true.

The good news? My friend who is facing eviction has found a new place to live and will be moving within the next few weeks. My friend who lost her job still has a roof over her head and plans to send me a copy of her resume to look at. My friend who was afraid her family wouldn't be able to afford health insurance says that she thinks her husband's new job might pan out after all. For now, anyway, those in my immediate circle seem able to keep the wolves at bay.

As more and more people may be facing the tangible stresses associated with financial poverty, I pray that we won't lose sight of the needs of those who are teetering on the brink of emotional bankruptcy. And I don't mean me.

(Thanks to the women of Sunday Scribblings
for their continuing inspiration.)


Rinkly Rimes said...

Maybe a new President will relax on the subject. I think he'll have more things to worry about than peoples' private lives!

gautami tripathy said...

Sometimes I think instead of moving forward, we are moving backwards. Hope it works out right with you..

For richer and/or poorer

Kill Word Verification

paisley said...

believe me,,, marraige is not all it is cracked up to be... if a civil union will provide you with the sameness,, the equality legally that you desire,, opt for it... or you could double the clientele of the already over burdened divorce lawyers just like the rest of us hetros........

Curvalscious said...

I really hope that your new president will able to change some narrow minds on this issue. Marriage shouldn't be gender specific.

Jules said...

Visiting from Sunday Scribblings...One of the joys I take from medium is reading others' points of views and perspectives on the same phrase.

I hope for richer for you and your friends this new 2009.

Granny Smith said...

As a Californian I am ashamed that the electorate didn't reject Prop 8. Before the election I devoted one blog post to reasons against it, with photos of happy same-sex couples rejoicing in their new marital status. As a hetero-sexual wife of 67 years married to the same man, I cannot understand how anyone could feel threatened in any way by extending the same sort of happiness, legitimacy and emotional wealth to others of different sexual preferences.

Same sex marriages, of course, have all the problems that any marriage has, but to deny them the chance to undertake it is not a democratic or moral way to go.

~ Jenn said...

I read recently of a woman explaining to her husband exactly WHY same-sex marriage doesn't really affect THEIR marriage:

"Just because someone else gets a really good cookie doesn't make YOURS any less delicious."

Wouldn't that sound good coming out of Obama's mouth?

~Jenn, legally married in a few states and several European countries

floreta said...

thank you for sharing. i hope obama will help. while he's not for gay marriage (i don't think) he IS for equal rights.

this is a touchy subject for me. i have often thought i might never marry unless marriage is open to all.. i was very disappointed about proposition 8.

Tumblewords: said...

Hard to know where the shoe falls next, isn't it? I'm hoping wisdom kicks in somewhere - it's been sorely absent for some span of time.